Welcoming the year of the dog

I probably need to work on the regularity of these posts...

2006 started with a bit of a whimper; i can't say i have alot in mind when it comes to New Years resolutions. It seems like a bit of a wank to be continually making the same promises to myself year after year, and year after year i let one or two or, oh, let's say most of them, fall to the wayside.

I'll state that i'd love to get Europe out of my system this year. I have a wonderful, irrational fairy-tale/ fantasy in my mind concerning Europe. In this fantasy, I get on a big plane (which i don't believe can possible fly 24 hours without crashing), arrive in Europe (which probably in no-way resembles the images in my mind), and begin a journey of self discovery, where i finally arrive at the conclusion fate has been holding for me; the stars fall into alignment and the lightbulb above my head (I'm sure it's there!!) begins to burn. There is this feeling inside me, this completely self indulgent yet persistent feeling, thatI will find some sort of truth on the other side of the world. I need something to shake up my world, to tip my centre of gravity upside down, to challenge every philosophy I have ever had. I have faith in this dream, i have to, because if i don't then there goes the last thing i have really dreamed about for the past five years.

If i go there, whether or not i discover a profound truth or have my epiphany, at least it's done; I can come back and pursue other dreams. This trip would be closure, liberation, escape, challenge, proof, pilgrammage and cosmic catharsis all in one. If i do this, i will be free. I have to believe in something and i truly believe that.